Tough Love is Not Love

I have never understood the theory behind tough love. To me, it just seems to be a phrase used to disguise abuse, to gaslight the victim into thinking that there is indeed something wrong with them and your friends and family are just trying to help you by telling you that you’re a piece of…

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Text – Pathway to frustration

I remember before smartphones, I hated texting. I refused to do it as you had to use the number keys on the phone for letters. Screen keyboards on the phone hadn’t been invented yet, and you were charged for each text sent. Most people didn’t use text at that time. It was more effort than…

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Dancing with the Devil.

Once upon a time, I would send messages to my friends. I would tell them how much I loved them and attempt to set up outings that allowed us to blow off steam and hang out with each other. Yet, as the apocalypse marched on and my depression lingered past the point where others thought…

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Sunshine and Rain

The sun’s last light descended over the western hills. The rays like fingers reaching to the tops of the trees and beyond. The hues of the clouds glowing purple, orange, and yellow as the final moments of daylight settled across the land. The rain fell in a steady sheet; pelting everything below. And as she…

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New Job, New me!

Well, I have announced this in various other places; I may as well mention it here. I got a new job! Yay! I have transitioned from in-clinic Northwest employment to National within my company. I’ve made it to salaried, administrative work. My first day was March 22nd, and I am now three weeks in. My…

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Dreams and Epiphanies.

I dreamt about you. You were not my hero in the dream; you were not my soulmate, nor were you even my friend. You were an angry man. A man angry at me for simply existing and being in the same location as you. In the dream, your friend died, the one with cancer. I…

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Ready ~ Conforming to the World.

Ready,   What does that even mean?  Is one ever ready for what life throws one’s way?  When life changes in an instant because of an accident, illness, or act of another, were you ready for that?  Were you ready to have everything you knew pulled out from under you because the person you shared your life with no…

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And the walls came crashing down.

Some days, the sadness is overwhelming. Nothing happened persay, but you can’t shake the feeling of profound melencholy. Clouds form patterns in the sky that send memories, better left forgotten, flooding to your brain. You can do nothing but lay there and wonder what you did to deserve the intolerable pain caused by an unimaginable…

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Unconditional Love

Being an overthinker sucks. When thoughts come into my head or accusations are hurled at me by thoughtless friends or individuals, I often spend a lot of time analyzing their meanings. What if? How? Why? I always wonder about the reasons behind someone’s actions towards me. Were they in the right? Was I? Do I…

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Different Strokes

A few years ago, I wrote a profile biography for a website. Later that night, while out with a friend, she reviewed it and loudly exclaimed, “You don’t like nature! You never want to go hiking with me.” I was hurt and embarrassed but didn’t say anything; I allowed the conversation to morph into other…

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