Choices are a part of life. It’s inevitable that at some point, we will be presented with a choice that will profoundly affect the rest of our lives. Often, once this choice is made, it can’t be undone. You might as well pour gasoline and toss a match on that bridge as you walk away. There is no going back. For better or worse, this is the choice you have made.

However, a select few are sometimes presented with the opportunity to do just that. Undo, a choice that may have seemed right at the moment, but as time went on, they discovered they either made a mistake or the circumstances that led to that decision no longer exist.

Why is this opportunity presented to some but not others? Perhaps, it’s fate? Perhaps the Universe is telling them this is where they belong, giving them another chance to grasp what their heart desires. Something that once felt out of reach due to circumstances, external obligations, or fear of the unknown is presented to you once again.

But what if it does not work out?

Once upon a time, I had to make such a choice. My marriage was very unhappy. I was not supported or respected, and we fought all.. the.. time. My oldest daughter has anxiety due to the non-stop squabbling. My ex thought disputing a point was fun and entertaining. He could not empathize with the distress it caused the children and me. He once spent all day arguing with me about showing up during a surgery I was about to have. In the end, he told me he’d always planned to come, but he couldn’t agree immediately; he needed to bicker with me about it. He angered almost every nurse on the floor, and after the surgery, the surgeon had to go find him where he slept in my room. To this day, I have clue what the surgeon told him because my ex wasn’t even paying attention.

I have hundreds of similar stories, but this sums up. About a year after this incident, I had the opportunity to stay in my unhappy marriage or take a different path. I chose the other path, which, as you might imagine, lit a match to the proverbial bridge of my marriage. There was no going back from here. And it did not work out. Not the way I had expected anyway.

What did happen is that I learned to stand on my own feet. I got a job after 12 years as a stay-at-home mom. I’ve now been there ten years and have worked my way up to a decent level. I went back to school while working full-time as a single mom of four. I earned a bachelor’s and then a master’s degree. I hold a seat on the local Art Commission. I have new friends, and most importantly, I gained peace. Perhaps, things worked out after all?

And while I don’t wish for a second chance in either of those relationships, I hope there is one for me elsewhere. I fully expect friends I might confide in to advise me away from this chance, yet, I have to realize they’re not the ones who live my life. It will not affect their happiness one way or another, but it will affect mine. And why should I let someone else’s definition of pride steer me away from what could be the happiness I’ve spent my life searching for?

Second chances are just that; another shot to take a step towards something you once felt was unobtainable. My best advice to anyone with such an opportunity is to follow their heart. If their heart is telling them this is where their happiness lies, throw caution to the wind, grab your happiness with both hands and ride wherever it takes you. If it burns bridges, perhaps that bridge was no longer meant for you to stand upon? And perhaps you, too, will find the happiness you’ve searched your entire life for.

There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky. And you ask, “What if I fall?” Oh, but my darling, “What if you fly?” Erin Hanson

Tina General musings

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