Holidays. They’re days every child looks forward to and most adults dread. If you don’t dread holidays it’s likely because you are a well-adjusted human with people who love you. It’s sad actually, that many of us do not have that.
So we either ignore the holiday as if it doesn’t exist or spend the day crying because we feel unwanted and unloved. The latter is usually where I am. Sad, lonely, wondering what the point of it all is.
And tonight, it’s the Fourth of July. The smell of sulfur fills the air, explosions rock the valley, and the orange glow of the sunset filters over the deck. And in the mists of chaos and heartache, the sun shines over the petals of the first Lily of the year. A perfect sunbeam reaching out from the heavens to shine on my flower and me.
And what does this mean? Me, always trying to find a meaning behind everything. Does this mean I should stop being sad? That perhaps I will finally find the elusive happiness I have searched for my entire life? Maybe the dreams I’ve dared to dream really will come true. Maybe, nothing will happen and tears will continue to be my companion night after night as I am carried away in the current of the ocean that spills from my eyes.
Some days hope is hard to find. We grasp for it, like a life preserver, just trying to keep afloat as the current carries us further and further from our dreams. And just when you’re sure there’s nothing left to grasp, the universe sends a sunbeam to touch you. Are you telling me to keep holding on?
